One week ago, I set up my new phone to communicate with Facebook, WordPress, and my primary e-mail account. Today, I may carefully and deliberately place my phone in a bucket of rainwater, and then watch it slowly sink into blessed silence.
The overly enthusiastic techie at Verizon (that got me into this dither) will probably have a post traumatic stress event when he learns what I plan to do. He kept insisting that “You’ll LOVE the “INSTANT Contact”, the “Always Informed” uses of my your new “Communications system!” In his defense, it DID sound good, at first. Upon turning the phone on for its first time, my e-mail rang thru almost immediately. “Cool”, I thought, “No more wondering if I got that e-mail!” I remember that first e-mail message distinctly. A General in Sumatra wants me to share $10,000,000.00 in Government aid, by sending him airplane fare to reach the United States. Hmmmmmmm…
Then, almost a whole two minutes later, Facebook began lighting up my new device! Wow! My Puppy fix would now be instantaneous!!! Sweet! And it was, at least at first. My Omorrow family was always with me! And the 5,729 other Canine friends I communicate with regularly! Sweet!!
On the drive home, my phone lit up no less that 6 times in 4 minutes!! When I got home, Hans and I had plans to go out and play. We decided to walk to our play field, which is a mere ten minutes away. The phone went off no less than 8 times on that walk, and I read every message. Hans looked up at me, his face showing exasperation at the unscheduled stops. We finally reached a good spot to start our session. I put Hansie in a “Down/Stay” and produced his orange retrieval toy. As I prepared to throw it out, the phone went off again. For some stupid reason, I stopped to look at it. Hans was not sympathetic.
This went on for the rest of this week. The phone became the center of existence. I am a completely informed WRECK!!! Everything I did, and everywhere I went, the phone did as it was designed. It informed me…Time for the phone to shut the &$##*@ up.
Summer has been so busy already that I just don’t need the world clamoring for my attention. ” Look at Hansie…” I thought, “Blissfully unaware that the government can’t manage a budget…that young, alcohol dependant, singers are paying the price for their excesses…and all the other crazy stuff going on in the 24 hour news cycle! He isn’t affected by any of it!” I’m going to where he lives as soon as possible. I’m going to make a list called, “My Dog’s Priorities”.
My Dogs’ Priorities
#1) Is there food in my bowl?
#2) Is there cool water in my water dish?
#3) Where’s my Dad and Mom?
#4) Where’s my orange ball?
#5) Is it time to go out to the bathroom?
#6) Is it time to play?
#7) Is it time to go for a walk?
#8) I have an itch…I’ll stop everything and deal with it.
#9) The floor here is nice and cool. Think I’ll take a nap.
#10) I heard a sound outside the house, I better investigate.
There may be a small number of additions possible, but I think I’ve distilled Hans’ list pretty accurately. True, these are not ALWAYS the order of the priorities, but these are consistently the top 10. No phone, no internet, no TV, no radio…Just his work, his family, and his health. Contentment to the core. The reason that German Shepherds don’t rule the world, is because they are smart enough to NOT WANT IT!
There’s a lesson to be learned there…For now though, back to my multi-tasking.